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Wedding Crashers, not the 2005 movie but the actual and literal meaning of the term means an un-invited guest at a wedding. Well most of the times weddings have multi faced guests whom you dont want to see. There are these exs like the old girl friend or a old crush from school. The man you slept with for the first time or the woman for whom you had danced naked on a bar table. Most of the times your mother-in-law and your father-in-law are too considered as uninvited guests. But these are not the ones being discussed in this article, we are talking about a stranger or alien element of your wedding.
Weddings are like a one time affair at least half the time. There is a lot of planning and also effort, which goes into a wedding. You first start with the church and finally end it with the caterer. But as life stands today you have wedding planners who will do everything on behalf of you to set the wedding right. But please don't depend on them for the kissing and the ring ceremony, because knowing them I don't think they would hesitate in saying no to these essential functions of a wedding. No wonder so many couples prefer a live in relationship to a wedding which has become a major turn in tale in so many of our lives.
My cousin too had a live in relationship for a long time, hmmmm if I am not wrong at least for 12 years. Finally I don't know what happened they decided to marry. He did not take my advice of avoiding watching Oprah with girlfriend. He probably did something which both wanted to do just like their failed base jump attempt. So I was too happy for him that he finally decided to do something so humongous and that too in accordance to some one else (his girlfriends advice). But some how he was worried about wedding crashers more than any other bride groom I was best man for. Probably because for the fun of it we used to crash into weddings for all the free food and booze. I do remember he used to pick the flower bouquet from the dump of bouquets next to the wedding hall and give it to the married couple. Well I had to literally convince him using this idea saying, whats a wedding without a wedding crasher?
There are many ways to crash in to a wedding. Weddings are one place where you get to meet a lot of happy people, at least pretending to be happy types. So you need to be really happy to enter any uninvited wedding. Now a days to most of the post church dance parties have bouncers standing out checking for invitations. These are the high profile weddings which should be avoided for crashing. There are umpteen number of men and women who are marrying else where. The first basic rule of wedding crashing is to dress really well. If not a tux at least a formal outlook or a basic minimum casual dress does the trick most of time. Remember better you look more attention you attract, more attention naturally means more people wanting to come to you and ask you who are you and where are you from and how are you related? Also the second most important thing for a wedding crasher is the timing. Arriving later makes you one among themselves since they will be already down many drinks and also would have shred their formal inhibitions with a lot of dancing. So you can gel with the ambiance like ice cream and cream and be one among them. The third most important rule is not to be nasty while crashing a wedding. Its not a sin to go bless the newly wed, but its a sin to destroy their wedding by over drinking and stomping all over or by creating a scene by picking up a fight or by telling everyone that they are all wedding crashers. So please remember to be in your alcohol limit. Never let the alcohol count in your body exceed the blood count.
The discovery of an affair will attack you with shock, anger and numbness. No matter what way you choose to react, your surroundings will look the same afterward because you have not yet started coping with what has transpired. You find that you are suddenly lost due to being caught off guard. You never thought this would happen to you. So when it does, what should you do when this painful truth is revealed and how can you forgive it?
The first thing to do when you find out that your partner has been cheating is to allow your emotions to flow out of your body. Holding your feelings in will only make you feel worse and cause a tremendous amount of stress both physically and mentally. Once you have expressed your instant reaction, you can start thinking more slowly and rationally. You will start examining your relationship, wondering where it went wrong and if it was ever as wonderful as you claimed it to be. You will create a chain of questions that have not yet been answered and will start feeling farther and farther away from getting any of them answered. Everything will be sorted out time, but first thing is first and that is getting your emotions sorted out.
Once your emotions have been expressed and sorted out, it is important to remember to not give the affair more power over your life than it deserves, even though at the time being, it feels like the end of the world. The fact of the matter is, it is not the end of the world, but has changed your world and the way you look at it, which is understandable. Know that your partners affair has nothing to do with his or her love for you, nor does it make you a failure in relationships. What the affair does tell you though, is that there are essential issues that need to be addressed. It is normal to be angry and unable to calmly discuss this with your partner, so let him or her know that (without getting violent or throwing them out of course). Let him or her know that you are deeply hurt and angry that they chose an affair as a way to deal with the issues in your relationship and you are not ready to talk about it just yet.
When you are ready, where do you start? It will be difficult to focus on the discussion if you are torturing yourself with visual thoughts of the cheating act. Make an effort to be strong and avoid the unnecessary painful thoughts that will in no way make you feel better or get your relationship back on track. You know what goes on when two people are intimate, so save yourself the details you already know and spare yourself the hurt. The focus is to find and establish the reasons for the affair and ways you can move on with your lives together, with a new and improved affair proof relationship. Good communication will be the key to your road to recovery, so be sure to ask the right questions, listen with undivided attention and understanding, as well as answering the questions you are asked and finding suitable solutions on how to prevent the same event in the future.
Anger, as well as other emotions, will arise while you and your partner attempt to make things right and better. You may blow up during discussions because your mind will re-fresh your memory of how your partner had the guts to betray you and how stupid, hurt and disrespected it made you feel. Your partner (the afairee) may also become upset because of your non-stop attacks on him or her, especially if they confessed and genuinely apologized. Before attempting any conversations regarding the affair, be sure that you and your partner agree to disagree and express anger. You both need to have patience for each others feelings, for it will take time to get past the emotional outbursts. If things start getting out of control and you find yourselves no longer talking, but only yelling and blaming instead, end the conversation and give each other some space. You may need to do this several times until you can talk without such interruptions. Take it one step at a time. After all, if you and your partner have made a decision to make things work, then there is no need to rush and panic.
After you and your partner get everything out in the open and understand the roots of the affair, you can then concentrate on re-building the trust and forgiving once and for all. Forgiving your partner does not mean you will forget what happened, but it will mean that you have accepted what transpired and are ready to move forward without bringing the past into your future as a couple. It will be difficult for you to blindly trust your partner again, but you must make an effort, as well as your partner. Your trust will strengthen as time goes by and through the convincing actions of your partner. You cannot put your partner on a leash and monitor him or her 24 hours a day, and you shouldn't want to. Do not expect things to magically improve, because you will be disappointed. Re-building the trust, passion and strength in your relationship will take a reasonable amount of time and could even require counseling if you feel you cannot make it on your own.
Re-building your self-esteem will help you forgive the affair as well. Being betrayed can do great damage to the way you feel about and look at yourself. You may feel less attractive physically and not worthy enough both mentally and spiritually. Get in touch with yourself and terminate your insecurities by finding ways to replenish the perspective you have on your being. Continue to tell yourself that an affair does not change the wonderful person you are and you are just as beautiful, desirable, intelligent and respectable as ever.
To avoid getting pulled back into the past, set your mind and heart on creating new memories together. Exploring new happiness will help your relationship mend and move on greatly. Go on dates, get romantic and become better friends than before! Make a permanent note in your mind that nobody is perfect but everyone deserve forgiveness for their mistakes. Try putting yourself in your partners shoes and think about the pain and regret they are going through and how much they love you. He or she knew it was wrong to do before they did it, but probably felt it was their only way to cope with their troubles at the time. If you have been genuinely apologized to and promised that it will never happen again, then open your heart and give him or her a chance. You obviously love your partner and he or she loves you, which is why you have decided to forgive and move on. So work as a team and be each others strength in putting the past behind you, looking at it as a learning experience in which will assist you in making your love affair-proof from this point on.
Loving and being loved are essential to our full humanity. We all need to be part of a loving and accepting group of people, whether it is our family, a particularly close circle of friends, or a larger group that is united around a common purpose.
We need to belong. A child who is not loved adequately is likely to develop severe emotional and behavioral problems. An adult who does not give and receive enough love on a regular basis is more likely to seek solace in destructive imitations of love, such as extra-marital sex, drug and alcohol abuse, spending too much money, overeating, and even over work.
Family love and marital love cannot be created on demand. Some of us come from families where love is rare, and some of us aren't married, or are in an unsatisfactory marriage. We may not be able to change those circumstances, but we can bring more opportunities for loving exchanges into our lives.
I believe that God is the source of all love, that he is loving each one of us all of the time. God's love is something that we can experience directly, but he also loves us through other people. And, we can love God directly, but we are also supposed to love him through other people.
God loves everyone, and those who know this and live in his love can be found scattered all over the planet, in all sorts of places. But in a genuinely Christian church you will find a concentration of people who are actively receiving and giving away God's love, because the Christian church was founded on God's love for each one of us. Its purpose is to share that love.
A Christian church that is rooted in the amazing and unchanging love that God has for us will welcome others with sincerity and humility. (Beware of the forced smile, the too-eager handshake. If you find that, you're in the wrong place.) A truly Christian community is worth searching for. There you will receive God's love through the people and through the church services, and your life will be enriched. It is deeply satisfying to belong to a group of loving, caring people. It is what we were made for. There is no better love than the love of God. Where the love of God is shared, people become a close, loving community. It is a wonderful community to be part of.
We all feel dissatisfied with our lives at times for no apparent reason. We may look around, seeking a cause, and succeed in blaming some circumstance or person in our lives, but the problem isn't our circumstances or other people. The cause of our discontentment is often not something particular about us. It usually isn't that we need to work harder, get more exercise, earn more money, spend more time with our family, move to a different city, or be more charitable. It isn't that we need to break a bad habit or adopt a good one, even though these may all be good ideas. The cause of our discontentment is that we know we aren't who we should be - in some more fundamental way - and we don't seem to be able to do anything about it.
We get angry or feel hurt when we know we shouldn't. We say things that we wish we hadn't. We do things that we know are wrong, and don't do things that we know we should. We are all in this state to some extent. We feel discontent with ourselves because we know that we're less than we could be, but we don't know what we should be doing about it, if anything.
Should I just shrug it off, recognizing that I'm only human? Should I try harder to be better? You're likely to choose one option or the other most of the time, depending on your personality. It doesn't matter which you choose; neither solves the problem. We can't get rid of the unease, and we can't change ourselves much. Something should be going on in our lives that isn't. We are here for a purpose. If we feel discontented, it is because our lives are not oriented around that purpose. We're off track, and we know it. I believe that our purpose is to get reconnected to God and then live the life that He has for each of us.
God has a different life prepared for each person. He doesn't want us to all be the same, but His life for us is richer and fuller than the one we work out on our own. It uses our talents more fully and brings more good to us and those around us. Think of everything that you've ever enjoyed with a really good enjoyment: the beautiful, fascinating, good, and true. God's life for you includes all of that and more. I don't think that it's possible to be satisfied with life without being connected to God. He's what's missing. When we're connected to God, we're participants in real living. Without Him, we live on the border of our own lives, waiting for something that is always just out of reach.
Each one of us is an image of God. Each of us is a unique expression of God's life, beauty, and intelligence, his creativity and tenderness, his energy and imagination. God's creation would be a less rich expression of himself were one person missing -- were you missing. God's love and life are expressed by you in a way that they have never been expressed before. We affect the quality of our expression of God by how we live our lives. If we ignore God, there will always be a tension inside of us because we were made to have a living relationship with God. Something in us suspects this, even if we don't want to believe it. Without God, we don't live up to our potential. Despite all of our efforts, we somehow never quite live up to being the people that we sense we could be. Without God, we are very much like one another. We make the same mistakes, have the same internal conflicts. When we recognize God's presence, however, our uniqueness blossoms. We don't waste our lives fighting with ourselves -- and with each other. We're freer to be our best selves. We're more whole. Only in God's presence can we find the freedom to be ourselves as we were intended to be.
God created each one of us to be a unique expression of Himself. He has no interest in diminishing our individuality. He created us each as unique individuals. When we separate ourselves from God, from the source of our uniqueness, we separate ourselves from that which is deepest in us. My innermost self is made in the image of God. My innermost self thrives in the presence of my creator. We can only know ourselves to the extent that we are willing to be in relationship with God. Otherwise, we continue to remain somewhat of a mystery, even to ourselves.
Venezuelans are among the world’s most creative namers. In fact, according to their own government, they’re too creative. In September 2007, after hearing about babies named Superman and Batman, state authorities urged parents to pick their names from an approved list of 100 common Spanish monikers. Those conventional names (such as Juanita and Miguel) quickly acquired a patrician ring, ironically giving rise to more novel names, like Hochiminh (after the Vietnamese guerilla) and Eisenhower (after the president). There are also at least 60 Venezuelans with the first name Hitler.
In June 2001, a total solar eclipse was about to cross southern Africa. To prepare, the Zimbabwean and Zambian media began a massive astronomy education campaign focused on warning people not to stare at the Sun. Apparently, the campaign worked. The locals took a real liking to the vocabulary, and today, the birth registries are filled with names like Eclipse Glasses Banda, Totality Zhou, and Annular Mchombo.
When Napoleon seized the Netherlands in 1810, he demanded that all Dutchmen take last names, just as the French had done decades prior. Problem was, the Dutch had lived full and happy lives with single names, so they took absurd surnames in a show of spirited defiance. These included Naaktgeboren (born naked), Spring int Veld (jump in the field), and Piest (pisses). Unfortunately for their descendants, Napoleon’s last-name trend stuck, and all of these remain perfectly normal Dutch names today.
The people of Iceland take their names very seriously. The country permits no one—not even immigrants—to take or keep foreign surnames. So what happened when esteemed Russian maestro Vladimir Ashkenazy asked to become an Icelandic citizen? Well, the government finally decided to make an exception. Vladimir Ashkenazy is now on the short list of approved Icelandic names.
Imam Husayn ibn Ali is one of the holiest figures in the Shi’ite Muslim faith. In the 7th century CE, he lost his head on the orders of the Sunni caliph, Yazid, and the decapitation initiated the biggest schism in Islamic history. While the name Yazid remains common among Sunnis, it is disdained throughout the Shi’a world. The stigma attached to it is equivalent to naming one’s son Stalin or Hitler. Speaking of which…
Memories of death camps and fascism have kept parents from christening their kids Adolf for quite some time. But one unlucky youngster acquired the name in 1949. He was the son of William Patrick Hitler—the dictator’s nephew, who moved to America in the 1930s to fight against his uncle. It isn’t clear why William preserved the name, but his four sons (including Alexander Adolf Hitler, now 57) made a pact to never have children in an effort to stunt der Fuehrer’s family tree at its branches.
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